How to Enlist a Mentor

Sooner or later, all of us need advice, guidance, or a bit of constructive feedback—and one of the best ways to obtain those things is through an ongoing relationship with a professional mentor. While many of us dream of mentorship, though, not all of us know how to get it, or what steps are needed to actually bring a mentor into your life.

All About Asking

In theory, of course, the person who mentors you will be someone you know; someone in your industry; and someone who is more experienced than you. If you locate such a person, the next step is pretty simple: Just ask. You’re not going to get a mentor passively or accidentally. If you want someone to invest time in you, you’ll need to come right out and say so.

A few tips:

• Be confident. Assume that the answer will be yes. Don’t hem and haw, and don’t apologize for your question.
• Be explicit and specific about your goals and expectations—what kind of time commitment you are asking for and what sort of outcome you’re looking for.
• Prepare a brief pitch, explaining why you think you’re mentor-worthy and what you think you will get out of the process. Understand that if someone is going to invest time in you, he or she wants to see that you have real promise, so don’t enter into this unprepared. First impressions matter!
• Whatever you do, don’t beat around the bush. State from the get-go that you’re looking for a mentor; don’t just set a coffee date and hope the rest will work itself out!

Picking Your Mentor

We’ve already noted that your mentor should be someone who works in your industry—but let us add that your mentor should be someone whose perspective is not your own. Pick someone whose career path has taken a different trajectory, or who has amassed different experience than what you’ve had. Pick someone who will both sharpen and challenge you.

Consider this, too: There is no rule stating that you can’t have more than one mentor.

A final thought: Ask what you can do to reciprocate. Don’t assume that all mentor relationships are one-sided; make it clear that you’re willing to offer value however you can.